She smiled and said “hello, come in!”

“Take a seat, but be wary-

And through her forced tired grin

-things may get unexpectedly bumpy”

Enjoy yourself!

This tour is one of a kind!

So, brace yourself —

I’ll let you see what’s inside

Ever wondered what it’s like

To focus on the little voice inside your head.

But then! There’s another spike

“Focus on me instead!”

How do you listen to you?

When you’re talking all at once

For the longest time you’ve felt blue

How do you still find the fun?

One sold her soul —

To a promise of happiness

But life took its toll

And left her ticking mess

One sold her heart —

To a poison of hopes and dreams

“It’s a new life, a new start!”

Oh darling, it’s not what it seems

One sold her body —

For a path of success and respect

You can’t pass out! Focus! Study!

What do you expect?

She sold her mind

And never looked back

But this is life’s grind!

You have to fall through the cracks

Funny how we focus

On impressing a world

That’s too busy to notice

Just to say that we’ve learned

Funny how it’s not hell but it burns

Right through your soul

How many more wrong turns

Before it unfolds

So If you don’t know how to drive

Sit down and enjoy the show

For each time you take a dive

Your seat is on the front row

You can’t run now

You can’t hide

But it’s okay

You’ve got voices inside

Inspired by Nick Joaquin’s essay ‘A heritage of smallness’, which talked about Filipinos being afraid of taking big risks thus dividing things in smaller parts in order to deal with “smaller losses” and raised the question on ‘How can we keep taking pride of our nation’s heritage of greatness when we keep sticking with smallness?’.

After days of thinking about an appropriate essay topic to write I finally came to a decision to write about change. As I write this in front of my bedroom window, constantly looking out in order to calm my everyday anxieties and worries, for all my future plans will be overwhelmingly different than what I’m used to, I ask myself these questions, ‘But why do we fear change? Why do we spend most of our times worrying about what’s going to happen that will eventually bring changes to our lives? Why does change even have be seen with negative connotations when we are naturally made for it?’

People are not made to keep constant routines and so we need change in order to thrive and survive.

Upon reading Nick Joaquin’s essay, I realized something. Maybe Filipinos indeed are full of excuses but for a good reason. No one will look out for us but ourselves. We cannot afford to take big risks because losing big means losing everything. Taking risks is an advantage that those who are capable have. Unfortunately, for most Filipinos, we always second guess, that’s why we stick to our expertise even though someday it may lead to a dead end.

It takes a certain amount of luck for people in our country just to keep climbing up that social and economic ladder. Years of hard work, sacrifice, sleep deprivation…but he was right on one point, that in our country or anywhere else in the world for that matter, more effort is not always equal to more progress. He made a point that we make such small progress every time because we stick to small risks. Maybe that’s why the saying, “slowly but surely” is so popular in our country.

But are Filipinos really to blame?

With all these in mind, I recall and I can say that I have been a victim of constant, forced and big changes. Every time that I stick to a routine I know, there’s suddenly a surprise dramatic incident that will change everything that I’m used to.

That time in high school when I finally managed to make my own group of friends when I worked so hard for a year to finally be accepted in a social group. A big incident happened which got the police involved and us ending up in the principal’s office (it was a misunderstanding) but was enough to trigger something in my parents and before I knew it, I was transferred to another school.

By the time I adjusted and earned new friends, college came quickly and I had no idea what I was doing since I finished high school without an effective study routine and didn’t even bother picking up a book (ask my former classmates, I swear). When I finally figured out how everything works, my long-term boyfriend at the time broke up with me and I had to explain everything to my family. I ruined a good chance for my education, lost all my high school friends, gained new friends who were the total opposite of my old ones.

It was a constant cycle of change which got me to where I am but thankfully, I was able to cope up because of my family’s support and the undeniable fact that we had the means for me to keep going with my life. I had the privilege to choose to keep going. Adjustment was always so tiring but it now became embedded in my system and after all these experiences, someone would probably be able to confront fear with bravery, right?

Unfortunately, fear always comes creeping in. The unexpected is exciting but the what is unknown is always paired with an overwhelming fear of what is soon to follow when we dive in…but is it the fear of drowning or is it the fear of not being able to go back?

Once we leave what we have, we don’t always have the option of going back to what we left and if we had a good thing going that we lost in order to pursue something bigger then that will be the root of our regrets. Filipinos are passionate when it comes to feelings that is why we feel deeply for everything. That’s why when failure strikes us, it strikes us hard. Although in this unforgiving country, we have no choice to be resilient or else we will not make it, for the chase for success is truly a battle.

Maybe we complain because we know we deserve better. No one wants to live her life without finding out what happiness feels like and in our country the only way to do that is if we have the means to do so. Sadly, very often, happiness is for the privileged. It is sad that happiness had become so superficial and the only way to be happy is to be successful, but at what cost?

The back-breaking nights of studying and going to school despite being drained in all aspects of your being. Taking up a course that your parents chose for you because it pays well and thus, make your life better and happier.

Change comes with sacrifice and responsibilities, which not a lot of people can handle. Even those who are in there 40s. Opportunities will come and go and when that happens, be brave. For the real-world is unforgiving but let us not fear failure, do not fear going outside your comfort zone, do not fear change because humans have the ability to adapt and fight for survival. These things are constant and natural.

I just hope that we all get a chance for it. A space for it. A privilege to go on with life and see more of what it has to offer.

Model: Steff Cariaga

This was my first attempt at photography with a purpose and despite it being an academic task, I had fun experimenting with the elements and the time constraint that I had to work with. The task was to capture a creative shot with a partner and it has to feature the inflatable bouncy castle in the school quadrangle. I thought this was the most appropriate technique for my shot since we had to work with a partner and this was the only way that the elements would not drown each other out. This shot will be able to let its viewers appreciate the beauty of the subject at the same time, not being drowned out by the background.

Camera: Trisha Ignacio

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
• Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
• Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
• If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.